La visita de SanJasonMari

Jason left on Tuesday and it was a brutal morning.  Before this trip we were all last together on February 8th, two months ago.  We talked a lot about being away from each other for such a long time, about whether or not it was worth it.  We agreed it was and with 25 years together “under our belts” we knew we would benefit from the reminder of how much we appreciate each other and enjoy our life together.   We decided that we would try to make visits happen every six to eight weeks.  We were previously apart for 3 months in 1994 when I came to Spain with a university program and it was not optimal.  I greatly valued the experience and had wonderful moments, but they do not compare with the amazing year that we spend here together in 1997.  But all of that was before Skype and, although it cannot replace the physical proximity and regular contact of the people you love, it does help if you can talk at any given moment for no additional cost. What we weren’t sure of was how it would be for the kids.  And I will unabashedly and pridefully tell you that our boys are champs.  It was a difficult morning and, although I felt awful making them go to school, I knew they would feel so much better around their friends. It was the right thing to do. By lunch break they were smiling, talking about how much they loved having their dad around, how they were glad they would see him again in as much time, how they know it is all worth it in the end.  Today Atticus decided to start trying to speak Spanish, even if it meant he would make mistakes, and he did!Hugo decided he would start being more in control of his impulses and he was! Both boys grew up when their father left in a positive and powerful way. 

José treated us to an incredible dinner

Whenever we visit Spain we are always faced with the same dilemma: how do we take advantage of the opportunity to see so our friends literally all across the country but in only a few days? How do we pack a years’ worth of experiences into a couple of weeks?  It is agonizing and almost enough to make us avoid the trip, but we can’t resist the pull.  People here know how to take advantage of time with friends, and although we leave feel unsatisfied and wanting more, we are jubilant and full of love.  This time it felt right to visit the friends that we are least likely to see in June when Jason returns, so after a quick visit with our friends here we rented a car and drove 1,000 miles in essentially 4 days’ time.  

Lucas's self-portrait

On Day One we headed to Portugal to see our friends Dani and Marga.  We all first met in Missoula and had the privilege of watching them add baby Lucas to their family while there.  They are currently in Coimbra, Portugal and it was fantastic to have real snapshots in our heads of their life there - their house, Lucas’ school, their walk to work through the park, their city. We had been to Coimbra before but again only in passing, and we were reminded of how incredibly beautiful this part of Portugal is.  Sophisticated, architecturally exquisite, verdant green and possessing the perfect balance of modern and vintage, it is (just like Dani and Marga) charming, quality, smart and satisfying.  (I can see where I might feel differently if I were to use a cane or wheelchair, however, as it is most definitely NOT accessible in this regard. Let me clarify that it is in this way that D and M diverge from my comparisons, as they are very accessible and accommodating.) We regretted such a short visit but were so very thankful to get some time with them. Oh, and that Lucas!!!  What a lucky boy - there’s a whole lotta love going on in that 
lovely family.  

The following day we drove north to Villagarcía to see our dear friends Miriam and her mother Seve, and finally meet sister Natalia after so many years of hearing about her.  We found out that, indeed, she is just as fantastic as we were told she would be. Miriam was as full of life and sparkling as ever, and it was a joy to be with her again. 

Miriam and I were destined to be in each others’ lives.  We met out of sheer coincidence on her second day in the US, striking up a conversation outside of the university center. After talking for a bit, we discovered that my intuitive and kind friend Connie had sat next to her on the airplane the day before and given her my email as she thought we would hit if off.  She was correct, and although we do not get to see each other as often as we would like, we pick up right where we leave off, and each moment is fun and authentic.  

Miriam and her family gave us a thorough tour considering the very short time we were there, taking us to Pontevedra, another beautiful and quaint city, as well as to Arousa Island (Illa da Arousa) where we ate an amazing meal and happily beach-combed in spite of the damp and wind. Natalia was kind enough to offer to stay at home with the boys so we could go out for a relaxing dinner; it was the first time in two months that I have done anything adult-like without the boys (outside of the chores I accomplish while they are in school) and as you can imagine, I was very grateful.  We left Miriam with her friends at 10 and Jason and I wandered stone streets in the mist, followed the glowing blue lights of the Camino de Santiago, took in a Semana Santa procession* ( My video of the Pontevedra procession ) from which I was somehow awarded a rose from the float of the Virgin Mary by one of her sore and tired bearers. To add to the romance, upon entering a restaurant our wedding song began to play. It might be like hearing Rosana’s “No Quiero Estar Sin Ti” in Montana as Annie’s Song is not typical for Spain; this night full of gifts was to be savored.   

• I am not Catholic and yet their beauty and devotion always brings tears to my eyes:  Semana Santa in Spain 

 




Upon wistfully saying our goodbyes and already looking forward to our next visit with these friends we left behind, we headed toward Madrid.  We needed to be back by 2 PM for a lunch that our friends were hosting for Jason and knew we couldn’t make the trip from Villagarcía.  We also knew that we would only have a matter of hours in Salamanca, and debated stopping somewhere else instead as it is just so dang hard to be there without seeing all of our friends, an impossible feat in a couple of hours’ time.  We decided that we would wing it and surprise those we could find.  

Immediately upon pulling into town we heard a procession.  We had wanted the boys to experience one but the regular rain over the last few days was not worth the risk of destroying the hundreds of years’ old statues and many were cancelled.   Although it threatened rain, this one was ON, and the boys and I jumped from the car while Jason parked. (Remember doing this stuff before cell phones? Hah!)  We found a perfect spot under the arch of the glorious Plaza Mayor, protected from rain and adjacent to three excited abuelas.  I planned on taking advantage of their undoubted excitement of explaining to a foreigner and her children the significance of the parade; I was not disappointed. Jason found us right as the parade started, and the rain held out almost until the floats completed their route.  (My video of the Salamanca procession) We managed to find a hotel room, make it to a restaurant we used to frequent on the Plaza Mayor, pop in on some dear friends for a 
rousing late-night discussion and were in bed at a time my children didn’t even know existed before we moved to Spain.

They must lower the float to fit through the arch, then they impressively raise her up above their heads when they enter the Plaza.

They carry the heavy float for HOURS, barefoot at times.  When a curtain doesn't cover their faces, you can see the agony and effort. You hear it regardless, toward the end.

And oh the lunch in Madrid the next day.  Aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, friends.  Jose's mother Marisol is an amazing woman and cook, and she prepared homemade Russian salad, roasted red peppers, a fried zucchini/Havarti cheese/hard-boiled egg appetizer that was to die for, fresh bread, a fish, spinach, cheese and seafood “pie” and lamb chops for those who eat meat. Of course, it was also accompanied by wonderful Spanish wine, delicious cheeses, a cheesecake, Palmera pastry, homemade chocolate truffles and espresso. Oh that woman can cook meals fit for royalty, and the only thing that was more impressive than her food was the company.  It was a special day and, although we were exhausted, we were so grateful for the opportunity to be with our friends together. 

The day before Jason left we stayed in bed until 11, snug as four bugs in a bed-rug, enjoying our togetherness, slow conversation and warmth. We took the subway to the center to purchase a few things and have lunch in the longed-for-sun, then returned home to pack and again meet our friends for a farewell dinner.  This is normal for Spain:  family, friends, food, time together - it is what they DO.  And exactly WHY we are here, so that our children know another way of living that is also rich and fulfilling and generous of spirit. Tonight there will be a little more room in our tiny, one-bedroom apartment, but our hearts will fill that space, and we look forward to Chapter Two. 

And please pardon the lack of editing; the page is beautiful before publishing and while viewing in editing mode, however, it changes upon publishing.  Also, my Facebook "LIKE" button is messed up - sometimes I have 38 likes, other times I have 2 and then 39 the next minute. Anyone have any tips?