I intentionally do not allow myself to become disgusted that I have not contributed to this blog in such a long time. At times I choose Ellen videos (I will admit it proudly!), Penguins of Madagascar cartoons, walks around the barrio, podcasts or house chores instead. I may journal or read, and have been to antique stores, flea markets, musicals and art museums, but truly most of my free time is spend doing unglamorous activities such as laundry, grocery shopping or cleaning. (Spaniards are clean, and the pressure to follow suit is worth mentioning. They mop IN FRONT OF their house every day, for crying out loud.) Whatever the moment, I just cannot bring myself to write when I’m not into it. But I do have things to tell. (“Oh, boy-howdy” surfaces to my brain; I’m not quite sure why and I occasionally doubt what I say in English any more. Tonight I called an umbrella a rainbow, as in “Can you please hold the rainbow for a moment?“ and I could not think of a better word for the life of me.) A wise and dear friend of mine who blogs told me, "Remember, life goes on" in reference to the fact that you may leave behind some worthwhile information that is "blog-worthy", but that you have to continue looking forward or you might lose your marbles. And I have resigned to this reality. BUT STILL-
I never quite got around to writing about how we decided at 5 PM on Friday to leave for Prague the very next day and how wonderful that trip was. My mom’s cousin has lived there for 3 years, and I had not spent any time with her as an adult, outside of a quick hour in an airport. It was a wonderful, satisfying, fun and PERFECT trip and it felt so great to connect with such a generous and kind family member.
I never quite got around to writing about our trip to the cookie factory, how a worker broke the rules and gave Atticus a piece of dough, unaware how much that meant to this kid who cannot facilitate interactions with others as he would at home. How the kindness of the kids struck me and filled me with wonder. They gave Atticus hugs, they sat by him on the bus, they encouraged him. And he said nothing. 3 near-mute months, and they have not given up on him. How they ALL cheered when 2 girls who are best friends got to be partners. How wonderful they were to each other and to me. Not one child was teased, excluded, maltreated; every person not just respected but accepted. (photos to come as soon as I can find some WiFi.)

I never quite got around to writing about the thrill of being able to walk almost entirely pain-free after almost 4 months. How the Retiro Park has been a godsend and how I have chosen to have a positive perspective about my weight gain. I injured myself in a dance class - a double bummer because I absolutely LOVED the class and I was feeling really great about an alternative to running that was fun, convenient and increased my heart rate. Although I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone to suffer from plantar fasciatis, the therapy that resulted taught me to re-learn how to walk again in a way that will benefit me in the long run and perhaps even allow me to run again someday. It was a first step in a journey that will most-certainly end up in a better physical place when all is said and done. (Thank you, Axis PT!)
I never quite got around to writing about how much I miss my husband, my family, my friends, my pets, my home, my neighborhood, my community, my valley. How I have loved getting to better know my friends here and life in a big city. How people truly are the same everywhere you go. How no matter where you end up, life is what you make of it. And sometimes it takes a little effort to remind ourselves how truly fortunate we are, but life is exactly about having that choice.
beautiful post, Caroline!
ReplyDeleteyou're a great cheerleader, babe. :D
ReplyDeleteLovely post, Caroline. I'm full of admiration for you and your family. Go, oogee!
ReplyDelete:D Thanks, Jean!
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing adventure & incredible gift to your boys! Loneliness can be rough, but I tend to think it is in those exact moments we can learn how to better connect. And spur-of-the-moment trips to Prague?!? How cool is that.
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